Dear World, Eat my shorts. Sincerely, El Barto.

 

Dear Diploma,

Thank you for the many amazing job opportunities that I now have lined up. I couldn't have done it without you.

Sincerely, Yeah Right.

____________________________________________________________

Dear Roommate,

Please stop trying to impregnate the shower drain. It doesn't work.

Sincerely, uses the same bathroom.

____________________________________________________________

Dear Atlantic Ocean,

Please stop being so wide, you're making my life difficult.

Sincerely, A girl missing a boy on the other side.

____________________________________________________________

Dear Boys,

Please realize I have a great personality!

Sincerely, Ugly

____________________________________________________________

Dear National Organization for Marriage,

Please finally realize that my gay friends have just as much right to ruin their lives as my straight friends do.

Sincerely, prettiest Democrat at the protest.

____________________________________________________________

Dear employer,

I daydream of the day when I can walk into work and tell you that I quit followed by a heartfelt f*#! you.

Sincerely, Miserable for Months.

____________________________________________________________

Dear cookies,

OM NOM NOM NOM.

Sincerely, Cookie Monster.

____________________________________________________________

→ Dear blank, please blank.